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dating & relationships

Are You Dating Blindfolded?

Posted on February 23, 2015

Have you ever been blindfolded? Maybe you were while playing a game at youth group, or a friend’s birthday party as a kid. Being blindfolded is hard because you can hear everyone, but you can’t see what’s going on. This can lead you to trip over a chair or run into a friend simply because you can’t see where you’re going.

Have you ever thought about the fact that many people approach dating blindfolded?  Many people are into dating just for the fun. They might take the time to get to know the person they’re dating. They just assume since the person they’re dating is good looking and gives them goosebumps, the relationship is meant to be. Before they know it, they’ve jumped wholeheartedly into a relationship with someone they hardly know. Dating blindfolded like this can bring disastrous results.

Here are a few things you should find out before jumping into a relationship with someone.

  • Do they love God? This should be a deal-breaker for you. If the person you’re dating doesn’t love God and challenge you to get closer to God, run away. You are heading towards relationship disaster.
  • Do they value what you do? Find out if your values are compatible. If you like spending time with family, and your date doesn’t, you’re heading towards relationship disaster.
  • What’s their drama level? Are they in crisis mode in their life? And you like things more low key? Then be warned, you’re heading towards relationship disaster.
  • What do others think? Do your parents like this person? Your best friends? The people that know you the best can often warn you about relationship blind spots. Don’t forget to pay attention to those who know you best.
  • Have you given the relationship to God? Have you asked God if this is the right relationship for you? If you don’t get God involved in your relationships, you are certainly headed towards relationship disaster.

 

Its easy to get wrapped up with all the emotions and excitement that come with a relationship. Many times all these emotions can lead you to forget about God. However, a relationship should reflect your walk with Jesus.

A relationship should not pull you away from Jesus. If you start dating someone and realize that you’re coming to church less and less, you need to realize that you’re dating blindfolded. Your relationship has become all about you and God has taken a back seat in your life. Your relationships should be pushing you towards God, not away from him. If the relationship you’re in is pulling you away from God, its time to seriously re-evaluate the relationship for any areas where you might be dating blindfolded.

Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. – Matthew 6:33 (NLT)

 

 

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How to Get Your Heart Sucker Punched

Posted on February 16, 2015

Teen Advice, Youth Bible Study Lesson and Devotion on Dating and Broken Heart

February is known for Valentine’s Day. Its a holiday that’s great, if you have a date. If you don’t, its a sad reminder that you’re single, and not getting a stuffed bear, box of chocolate or whatever else your significant other might get you. With the idea of relationships in mind, here are a few things to keep in mind if you’d like a broken heart. Or if you’d rather avoid a broken heart, then these are a few things to not do in a relationship.

  1. Have Sex.

    If you’re not married, you shouldn’t be having sex with your boyfriend or girlfriend. It doesn’t matter how amazing the person is, or how you know that this person is the “one” and that one day the two of you will get married. The point is you’re not married right now, and that’s what counts.
    Many teenagers think its okay to have sex if you’re thinking about marrying the person you’re dating. However, the only time you should have sex is when you’re married. Not almost married, not after you’ve exchanged promise rings, or if you’re talking about marriage. If you’re almost married, you’re NOT married. Something could happen, you could break up. And if or when you do, your heart will get ripped to shreds because you didn’t guard it. Choose to not allow your heart to be broken. Choose to go about having sex God’s way, and keep your heart from being broken.
    Stay away from sexual sins. Other sins that people commit don’t affect their bodies the same way sexual sins do. People who sin sexually sin against their own bodies. – 1 Cor 6:18 (God’s Word)

  2. Fall in Love.

    Many teenagers let themselves fall in love with the person they’re dating. Almost all teenage relationships don’t end in marriage. So, if you allow yourself to fall in love too quickly, you’re going to get hurt. Guard your heart. Take time to get to know the person you’re dating. Don’t give too much of your emotions away to that person. If you allow yourself to fall in love too quickly you are setting yourself up for heartbreak in the long run.
    Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life. – Proverbs 4:23 (NLT)

  3. Don’t give your life to God.

    One of the best ways to get your heart broken is to not give your life to God. God created you to need Him. You’re not designed to run your life on your own. You were created for relationship and fellowship with God. God wants to guide you, comfort you, and walk with you through life. By not giving your heart to God, you are not allowing Him to be your comfort and guide for your life. Life can be tough at times and if you’d like a broken heart, the best way to do that is by not letting God into your life.

These are three things to do if you’d like a broken heart. Heartbreak isn’t what God desires for your life, but He lets us decide if we want to follow Him or not. By not following God and what He has said in His word, you’re opening up your heart to be broken.

Choose to follow after God and allow Him to direct your paths. As you do, you’ll find that you’ll be happier and experience less heartbreak.

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Tips for Successful Relationships

Posted on February 11, 2015

Relationships are tricky. Whether its a friendship, parent, boss, teacher, boyfriend, or girlfriend, it can be hard to know how to handle difficult relationships. How do you handle the parent that you don’t agree with? Or the teacher that rubs you the wrong way? Or the boyfriend that broke up with you for no apparent reason?

The book of Ruth offers some awesome suggestions for handing difficult relationships. Ruth found herself in a bad spot. Her husband died. She had to decide what she was going to do next. She chose to follow her mother-in-law to a new country. Ruth didn’t have to go, but she chose to. Then when they arrive in the new country, her mother-in-law wasn’t all that nice to be with. She was sad and depressed. Not the kind of person you’d respect and work hard for. Ruth did something amazing though, she stayed with her mother-in-law and stayed true to God.

But Ruth replied, “Don’t ask me to leave you and turn back. Wherever you go, I will go; wherever you live, I will live. Your people will be my people, and your God will be my God. – Ruth 1:16 (NLT)

There is an important lesson in here when it comes to relationships. Its this, respecting God and authority will help you out in the long run. That is exactly what Ruth did. She respected her authority, her mother-in-law. Regardless of Naomi’s attitude and outlook on life, she chose to respect her and stick with her. Ruth also chose to stick with God. She chose to serve God and follow after Him.

The awesome thing about these two decisions is how they brought Ruth success. Ruth ended up marrying a very rich and successful guy. She got an awesome outcome to her life’s story. And it all started with her simply respecting authority and God in her life.

Authority relationships in your life can be tough. It can be hard to respect those in charge of you. But its important to do. It can bring you into success in ways you’ve never imagined, just like Ruth.

The other thing Ruth did was to follow God. Her decision to follow after God wasn’t easy for her. But it led her into good things.

Look at your own life? Have you made the same decision Ruth did? Have you decided to follow God? No matter where that might lead you? Have you put your trust in Him? And have you been respectful of the authority that is in your life? Doing these two things will set you on a path to success that you’ve never dreamed of! Choose to follow God and respect authority.

Relationships – What Are You Holding On To?

Posted on February 9, 2015

Teen Devotion Youth Advice on DatingRelationships are tough. Dealing with other people isn’t easy. And when it comes to dating, its even harder. Dating can get rocky sometimes. You might not do the right thing or say the right thing. The person you’re in a relationship with might not do the right things either. So what do you do when things in a relationship get a little rough?

The answer to this reminds me of a time I was training to go on a missions trip. Our team had training for an entire week before we went. We wanted to be close as a team and be ready to minister to the people on the trip. Two days of training were set aside for us to do a ropes course.

If you’ve never done a ropes course, it can be a bit challenging at times. We had to climb rock walls, jump off a 30 foot pole, and compete in several obstacle courses.

One of the most monumental things we did was climb up a 100 foot climbing wall, and then zipline from the top of the tower down to the bottom of a steep hill. When I was standing at the top of the climbing tower looking down, there was nothing more I wanted to do than to just stay there and cling to the safety of the top of the tower. However, I couldn’t do that. I had to let go of the tower to zipline down to the field below.

Its a simple concept really, and its this: you can’t hold on to two things at once. I couldn’t hold onto the tower at the top and also zipline to the bottom of the hill. If I would have tried, I could have probably broken my arm or hurt myself in some way.

This is true too in our dating relationships. It is easy for us to let go of God so that we can gain a person in a relationship. We let go of God’s word and begin to put more faith in our feelings and what the person we’re dating is telling us.

This is a dangerous place to be. When you let go of God, you’re setting yourself up for heartbreak and failure. However, the opposite is true too. When you hold onto God and put him first in your relationships, success is sure to follow.

But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be provided for you. – Matthew 6:33 (HSCB)

What are you holding on to in terms of relationships? Are you holding on to God and trusting Him in your relationships? Or are you holding on to your boyfriend or girlfriend? Are you allowing them to dictate things?

Take a close look at your life. Choose to make any adjustments that are needed in your relationship so that you’re holding on to God and not anything else. Its a simple truth, you can’t hold onto two things at the same time.

4 Ways To Become More Attractive to the Opposite Sex

Posted on December 17, 2014

Devotion on DatingHave you ever had someone that you really liked as more than a friend and you would have done anything to get that person to like you back? You would have changed what you wore, or the music you listened to. You would have dropped all your other friends in hopes that this person would like you.

If you haven’t ever felt this way, its pretty safe to assume that at some point in your life you will feel this way about someone. So with that in mind, here are a few ways that you can become more attractive to the opposite sex.

  1. Be yourself. This one can be really tough if there is a person that you really like. You can want to change how you dress or how you talk hoping that the other person will notice you or like you. This is never a good solution. If you happen to get the person’s attention, you’ve got yourself into a mess. You’ve got to keep acting like someone else for them to stay interested. You can’t hide the real you forever. The best bet in finding a happy, lasting relationship is to be yourself.
  2. Don’t give too much sexually. If you are a person that gives to much sexually, you’ll end up getting used. Perhaps you’ll get the attention of the person you like, but is that the kind of attention you really want? In the end giving too much sexually will wind up with you getting hurt. There’s a reason the Bible talks about sexual purity. Its to keep you from getting hurt really bad.
    “Guard your heart above all else, for it is the source of life.” – Proverbs 4:23 (HCSB)
  3. Hold out for the right types of people. Many times its easy to think that having someone to date is better than no one. This is just not true. Its better to wait for the right types of people to come into your life. People that love God like you do. People that have similar values and feel the same way about things as you do. Don’t date just to date. Wait to date the right types of people. It doesn’t do you any good to fall in love with someone who isn’t right for you. Guard your heart and don’t just date anyone.
  4. Pursue your interests. When you’re not in a relationship, don’t spend all your free time moping around and wishing you had someone to date. Instead, spend the time pursuing things that you’re interested in. If you’ve always wanted to play guitar, start taking lessons. If you love to bake, find out how to become the best baker you can. Spend time developing your interests and developing yourself. You’ll be happier as you do, and more than likely, you’ll end up meeting someone who has interests just like you.

These are just a few tips to help you become more attractive to the opposite sex. You should never become obsessed though with pursuing someone of the opposite sex. Dating someone can be fun, but it will never fulfill you. The only person that can fill you and make you truly happy is Jesus. So always go to Him for help and wisdom in dating.

What’s the Deal With Sexual Purity?

Posted on September 8, 2014

Teen Lesson on Sex PurityMost likely, your school’s hallways are filled with talk of who is having sex with whom. Possibly there are rumors circling around your job about the latest hookup and break up. With all the talk from your friends, at school and on TV it can really make you question, in this day and age, is sexual purity really possible? Is it even realistic to think that a person could wait until marriage to have sex?

These questions are good ones to ask yourself. Most teenagers if they were honest with themselves are curious about sex. Many people think, ‘what’s wrong with a little sexual exploration and fun?’ The problem is, many people have taken what God says about sex and twisted it. They’ve pushed sexual exploration and removed all sexual boundaries.

Think of it this way. Let’s say that you were finally able to drive a car. Let’s also say that your dad handed you the keys to the car and told you to have fun. Now if you hadn’t had any driver’s education or any prior knowledge about cars, you could really get yourself in trouble. Let’s say that your dad just left you with the car to ‘explore’ and ‘to have fun’ with it. You might end up driving too fast and get in a wreck if you didn’t follow the traffic rules. Without knowing the rules, you could really get yourself into trouble quickly.

That’s a lot like sex. God made it to be a fun thing, but if you just explore it without any boundaries it can lead to trouble quickly. Without the boundaries in marriage that God has set up for sex, you could find yourself pregnant, with an STI or a broken heart. That’s why God urges us to keep ourselves sexually pure. Its not that He wants us to remove all fun from our lives. No, the opposite is true. He knows that if we follow the rules like we do when we drive, it keeps us from wrecking.

Sexual purity is possible. It may not be the easy or popular choice, but it is possible. It might take you saying ‘no’ to what feels good in the moment because you have a vision of something greater. You know that if you follow the rules God set up for sex that one day you’ll experience an awesome sexual relationship.

If you haven’t already made a decision to be sexually pure, we encourage you to do it. It won’t be the popular decision. It won’t be the easiest decision, but it will be a decision that will leave you with no regrets. It will make your life easier in the long run. And if you’ve not made the decision to be sexually pure, and you’ve already plunged into sexual relationships, take a minute and make a decision to be sexually pure from this point forward. Determine to not let peer pressure, the media and other things determine your sexual choices. Let God be the one who sets the standard for sex. Follow after God’s plan for sex and you’ll be glad you did!


Every Teenager’s Little Black Book on Sex & Dating
This book is awesome especially if you don’t like reading very much! It is a very quick read and has tons of great information on sex and dating.

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3 Tips for Smarter Dating

Posted on July 2, 2014

Tips for Smarter Dating

Dating.  It’s a loaded word.  Some people hate the word because it brings thoughts of broken relationships and rejection.  For others, dating is an exciting and fun adventure to explore. Regardless of how you feel about dating, here are some principles that will help you become smarter in dating.

  1. High School relationships don’t last – Almost all high school relationships end in breaking up.  That can be a depressing reality, or it can be something that empowers you.  If you realize that more than likely the person you’re dating right now you won’t marry and will most likely break up with, it can free you to not take the relationship so seriously.
    You can be free to get to know someone of the opposite sex, but without putting tons of pressure on yourself to take the relationship too seriously.
  2. Keep your friends – This mistake is made all the time.  People in dating relationships often become so engrossed in another person they forget to keep other friendships.  This isn’t healthy.  You need a variety of relationships to keep you centered and grounded.  Also, if the relationship you’re end probably won’t last, its good to keep your friends so you have someone to hang with when your relationship ends.
  3. Stay close to God – Don’t become so engrossed in another person that you forget to spend time with God.  Your relationship with God is the most important relationship in your life.  Don’t let it fall to the wayside.

Remember, don’t take dating relationships too seriously.  Be sure in any relationship to not shut out the other relationships in your life.  Long after your dating relationship ends relationships with your friends, family and God will see you through.

Learn More About Godly Relationships

This is our simple five day devotional on relationships. Check it out and challenge yourself to pursue Godly relationships!

How To Survive Valentine’s Day

Posted on February 12, 2014

devotion-for-teens-christianity-differentIf you’ve walked into any store recently, you’re quickly reminded that Valentine’s Day is coming up. The isles are loaded up with teddy bears, heart candy boxes, flowers, and more chocolate that you can imagine. Valentine’s Day is a holiday that usually comes with mixed emotions. For those in a relationship, it can be a great time to think about and appreciate that other special person. If you’re not in a relationship, its easy to feel sad and alone on Valentine’s Day. With all that in mind, here are a few tips to help you survive Valentine’s Day.

  1. Own It – If you’re not in a relationship right now, look for ways to make valentine’s day fun for yourself. Choose to not mope around all day, but find some of your best friends and go out to dinner together. Do something fun to make the day memorable.
    If you’re in a relationship, you can totally own Valentine’s Day too! Find a way that you can have some good clean fun with your boyfriend or girlfriend. Maybe you could go bowling, hit the food court at the mall, or get together with a few other couples.
    Just do something really crazy to make valentine’s day fun and take the pressure off to make the day perfect.
  2. Thank God – Take some time to thank God for all the good stuff going on in your life.
    Hebrews 13:15 – “Therefore, by Him let us continaully offer the sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of our lips, giving thanks to His name.”
    So whether you’re single, or in a relationship, take some time to thank God for everything you’ve got going on in your life. Even though you may not like your relationship status, you can take some time to thank God for all the good that is in your life.
  3. Be realistic – Valentine’s Day is a special day, but it isn’t amazing. Its easy to put too much emotion in effort in expecting Valentine’s Day to be wonderful. Most likely, you’re not going to find true love today or most likely get asked out by your crush. Your sweetheart may not buy you the right gift. However, even if things don’t go like you might have wished, Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be a bust. If you keep your expectations about the day realistic, you’ll be less likely to be disappointed.

Valentine’s Day can sometimes seem like a chore rather than an awesome holiday. However, you can get through it by choosing to make it fun and not take it too seriously. Also, remember that staying thankful always helps you be happier and enjoy the day more. Try these things out and you’ll survive Valentine’s Day with no problem.
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Single and Loving It: Living Life to the Fullest This book rocks! Its an awesome resource to keep your thinking in line with God’s word and to be happy while you’re single.

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How to Know If You’re In Love

Posted on February 7, 2014

Youth Devotion - Being in Love

It can be hard to know if the relationship you’re in is “IT”. Is this true love? Are you in love with your boyfriend or girlfriend? How do you know if they’re the “ONE”?

It can be challenging to decide if you’re in love with the person that you’re dating. We’ve got a few things that should help you determine if what you’re experiencing is true love.

  1. Can You Accomplish something together? – If you had a history presentation to put together for class tomorrow would you be able to accomplish this task together? Or would someone end up mad at the other or have their feelings hurt? If your goal is a relationship that lasts and true love, you’d better pay attention to whether or not you guys can accomplish something together as a team.
  2. What do you like about the other person? – Be realistic and honest about this question. What do you like about the other person. If you come up with things like, you like the way their hair looks or the color of their eyes, chances are, you have a relationship based on the physical, not upon something deeper. While you should be attracted to the person that you will ultimately marry, you should have more things that you like about that person than just the physical.
  3. How Physical is your relationship? – Its easy to confuse hormones with love. You may be attracted to the person you’re dating and want to be close to them. You may enjoy the butterflies and feelings that you get when you’re around them. However, this is never a good indicator of love. Relationships based on physical attraction don’t last. You’ve got be able to separate attraction from love.
  4. Do you look out for the other person’s best interests? – If you’re in the relationship because the person you’re dating makes you feel good, you’re in it for the wrong reasons. You need to be willing to help the other person and be on the lookout for their interests.
  5. Does your relationship pull you closer to God? – Does the person you’re dating love God like you? Does being with them make you love God more. If not, run for your life. This is not true love and it is not a relationship that will last.

There are many indicators of true love in a relationship. If for any reason, your relationship doesn’t pass any of the conditions mentioned above you need to take a good look at your relationship. Its probably not one based on true love.

Also, if you’re not old enough to drive and don’t have a job, you’re probably not ready to date or fall in love. This might seem harsh, but it is true. Falling in love is not something to take lightly. You would hate to fall in love with the wrong person and end up with a broken heart and broken relationships. There is some wisdom to waiting and getting some life experience.

The main thing in determining if your relationship is the “Real Deal” is to ask God. He’ll be able to help you and show you if your relationship is one you should continue or one to end. Ask God for his direction and advice and you’ll find that you’ll enjoy your relationships even more.

Why Dating Is A Lot Like Ordering From the Starbucks Menu

Posted on February 5, 2014

Youth Lesson on DatingI can think of several times I’ve gone into Starbucks and have been really unsure what to order. I probably looked the menu up and down a hundred times, just trying to find the “right” drink for me.

I don’t know a lot about coffee, so many times I’ll ask the person taking my order what they like to drink. I’ve ordered some drinks that they liked, but many times I’m disappointed in my order.

Its not that Starbucks is bad, its that I don’t know enough about coffee to ask for the right things. I end up with an order that doesn’t always fit my expectations.

A lot of the time, I think its easy to do the same thing when it comes to dating. Its easy to not know enough about dating and then end up disappointed in the process.

One important thing you can do when dating is to be an informed dater. Take some time to list out the four or five things you must have in the opposite sex. Likewise, list some things that you can’t stand. Then use this list as a guideline when approaching new relationships. This will help you weed out potential dates and help reduce the chances you will be disappointed in the end.

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