The Trap of Anger

Posted on September 22, 2014

youth-advice-anger-teen-devotion-angerWe’ve all done it! We’ve gotten angry. There are a lot of reasons to get angry. You may have not gotten a good grade on your math test and you’re angry at yourself for not studying more. You could be angry because you see someone at your school getting bullied, and you wish that people treated others with more respect. Or perhaps you’ve gotten angry because someone auditioned for the school play and got the part you knew you deserved. Anger can come to us from many different sources.

Anger in itself isn’t necessarily bad. Its your response to anger that can make or break you in life. For example, if you got angry that you didn’t get a good grade on your math test. And let’s say you used that anger to motivate you to study harder for the next test. That response to anger would be good. You channeled your anger into something productive, like studying harder for a test.

Sometimes though, your response to anger can be bad. If you allow your anger to consume you you can do things you regret. The story of Cain in Genesis four is a good example of this. Cain got angry with his brother Abel and that anger drove him to ultimately kill Abel.

 

The Lord asked Cain, “Why are you angry? Why does your face look sad? You know that if you do what is right, I will accept you. But if you don’t, sin is ready to attack you. That sin will want to control you, but you must control it.”
Cain said to his brother Abel, “Let’s go out to the field.” So they went to the field. Then Cain attacked his brother Abel and killed him. – Genesis 4:6-8 (ERV)

 

Cain made a bad decision out of anger. He chose to kill his brother Abel. Now, we know that killing someone is wrong, and most of us aren’t tempted to kill someone, but what do you do when someone gets something you feel is unfair? Do you talk about them behind their back? Give them the silent treatment? Or maybe try to get even with them?

Doing these types of things will not help you in the long run. It might make you feel better in the moment, but trying to get even or not treating someone nice isn’t the right way to respond to anger. When you get angry, you have a choice to make. Will you sin when you get angry and do something you may later regret, or will you channel that anger into something positive in your life. Ephesians 4:26 says it like this:

“When you are angry, don’t let that anger make you sin,” and don’t stay angry all day.  – Ephesians 4:26

When you get angry, choose to not get even or hurt someone else. Choose instead to channel your anger into something positive.

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What Traffic Lights Can Teach You About Getting To Heaven

Posted on September 17, 2014

Traffic lights are a pretty fantastic invention. Without traffic lights, driving would be nuts! Vehicles wouldn’t know when to stop and when to go. Traffic lights help keep traffic flowing smoothly and help reduce accidents on the road. They are able to show us when and where to go and are really very useful!

teen-advice--youth-devotion-getting-to-heavenJesus is a lot like a traffic light. Not that He’s made out of metal and wires, but in the way he shows us the way to go to heaven. A traffic light guides traffic by its colored lights. For example, when the traffic light is green, drivers know its time to go. The yellow light tells drivers to go forward with caution. And if the light is red drivers know they should stop. That’s a lot like Jesus because in the Bible, He shows us that He is the way to heaven.

Jesus answered, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. The only way to the Father is through me. – John 14:6  (ERV) 

Jesus shows us clearly in that verse that the only way to get to God is through Him. Some people believe that Jesus is one of many ways to God. However, that’s not what the Bible teaches. The Bible clearly states that Jesus is the only way to God. Just like each color of the traffic light means one thing, the one way to God is through Jesus.

When it comes to getting into heaven, there are not multiple ways to get there. There is one way to be saved, and that is through Jesus. A red traffic light doesn’t mean stop sometimes and go other times. No, it always means stop to drivers. The same is true with Jesus. He is always the way to heaven. He’s not one of multiple ways to get there, He is the only way.

If you haven’t already, decide to believe that Jesus is the way to God. Choose to accept Him and the fact that He is the way to heaven.

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How To Handle Disappointment

Posted on September 15, 2014

Disappointment stinks! I remember a time when I was sure that I was going to get the present I wanted for my birthday. I had dropped like 80 million hints about what I wanted, the color, even the size. There was no doubt in my mind that I would get the present I was wanting for my birthday.

So when my birthday came around, I opened box after box, secretly hoping the box I was opening had the present that I had wanted. However, when I had opened all my presents, I was missing the gift that I had tried so hard to hint at. I was shocked, how could everyone have forgotten the thing that I had wanted most?

youth advice teen topic on disappointmentI was truly disappointed. Life sometimes brings us disappointment. It might be in the form of a forgotten birthday present, a relationship breaking up, or something at school not going your way. Disappointment happens to everyone, but how can you deal with disappointment in healthy ways?

Let’s take a look at 1 Samuel 30:6 for some ideas on what to do when disappointment hits.

All the men in the army were sad and angry because their sons and daughters were taken as prisoners. The men were talking about killing David with stones. This upset David very much, but he found strength in the Lord his God.  – 1 Samuel 30:6

  1. Don’t Take it out on others. The Guys in David’s army were mad because everyone they loved was taken prisoner. So what did they do? They took it out on David. They blamed David for the bad thing that happened and looked to take it out on him by killing him. This is a very unhealthy way to deal with discouragement and disappointment.
    Taking it out on others is not a solution in the long run. If these guys would have taken it out on David they would have still not had their families back. So what would they have gained by taking it out on David? Not much. It would have been a temporary fix for a bigger problem which was not having their families. So in the face of disappointment, realize that taking it out on others is never a good solution.
  2. Find strength in God. Even though David was upset too in this story, he did an amazing thing. He was able to stay encouraged and find his strength in God. Finding strength in God is an awesome thing to do in the face of disappointment. When you’re feeling sad, upset or disappointed, find strength in God. Focus on what His word says and encourage yourself in God.

Disappointment happens to everyone. However, you can make a decision how you respond to disappointment. You can choose to take it out on other people, or you can choose to take it to God. Taking your disappointment to God is a really great way to deal with it. God can help you through the situation and will be there for you each step of the way. Choose to love God and get His help in dealing with disappointment!

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Are You Stuff-y?

Posted on September 10, 2014

teen-stuff-devotionSo much of the culture today is consumed with the pursuit of stuff. We think if we could just have a better car, we’d be happy. If we could just be dating that person of our dreams, then we’d be happy. Or if we could just get out of our parent’s house, we would then be happy.

A ton of our life is spent in the pursuit of ‘stuff’. We think that if we just get this one new thing we will be happy. But often when we get that thing, something is still lacking. We try and we try for more stuff, only to find that the ‘stuff’ doesn’t really make us happy.

So what do we do? If the pursuit of stuff won’t make us happy, than what should we be going after?

The story of God appearing to Solomon shows us something in about what we should go after. Solomon had God appear to him and God asked him what he wanted. Solomon could have asked God for anything. He could have asked God for money, fame, or the girl of his dreams. Instead Solomon asks God for something really unexpected. He asks God for wisdom.

[quote align=”center” color=”#999999″]That night God came to Solomon and said, “Ask me for whatever you want me to give you.” – 2 Chronicles 1:7 [/quote]

This is really interesting to me. Solomon could have asked God for all kinds of stuff here. However, Solomon must have known that the pursuit of stuff wouldn’t make him happy and fulfilled. He must have known that by seeking after stuff, he would wind up wanting more and more stuff. He could never get enough stuff to really make him happy. So Solomon asks God for wisdom and for help.

[quote align=”center” color=”#999999″]Now give me wisdom and knowledge so that I can lead these people in the right way. No one could rule this great nation without your help.”  – 2 Chronicles 1:10[/quote]

Solomon realizes that there is something more important than stuff. Solomon also realized that he needed God’s help to live his life and to make wise decisions. What Solomon asked for really impressed God. God liked what Solomon asked for so much that God made him wealthy and gave him lots of stuff.

So the lesson we can learn from Solomon is this: there is something better than the pursuit of stuff. Getting God’s wisdom on how to live our lives is way better than any stuff. Making God number one in your life will bring satisfaction that stuff never will.

Choose to make God number one in your life. Choose to not go after stuff, but go after God and after His wisdom. When you do, you’ll find you’re happier and more fulfilled.

What’s the Deal With Sexual Purity?

Posted on September 8, 2014

Teen Lesson on Sex PurityMost likely, your school’s hallways are filled with talk of who is having sex with whom. Possibly there are rumors circling around your job about the latest hookup and break up. With all the talk from your friends, at school and on TV it can really make you question, in this day and age, is sexual purity really possible? Is it even realistic to think that a person could wait until marriage to have sex?

These questions are good ones to ask yourself. Most teenagers if they were honest with themselves are curious about sex. Many people think, ‘what’s wrong with a little sexual exploration and fun?’ The problem is, many people have taken what God says about sex and twisted it. They’ve pushed sexual exploration and removed all sexual boundaries.

Think of it this way. Let’s say that you were finally able to drive a car. Let’s also say that your dad handed you the keys to the car and told you to have fun. Now if you hadn’t had any driver’s education or any prior knowledge about cars, you could really get yourself in trouble. Let’s say that your dad just left you with the car to ‘explore’ and ‘to have fun’ with it. You might end up driving too fast and get in a wreck if you didn’t follow the traffic rules. Without knowing the rules, you could really get yourself into trouble quickly.

That’s a lot like sex. God made it to be a fun thing, but if you just explore it without any boundaries it can lead to trouble quickly. Without the boundaries in marriage that God has set up for sex, you could find yourself pregnant, with an STI or a broken heart. That’s why God urges us to keep ourselves sexually pure. Its not that He wants us to remove all fun from our lives. No, the opposite is true. He knows that if we follow the rules like we do when we drive, it keeps us from wrecking.

Sexual purity is possible. It may not be the easy or popular choice, but it is possible. It might take you saying ‘no’ to what feels good in the moment because you have a vision of something greater. You know that if you follow the rules God set up for sex that one day you’ll experience an awesome sexual relationship.

If you haven’t already made a decision to be sexually pure, we encourage you to do it. It won’t be the popular decision. It won’t be the easiest decision, but it will be a decision that will leave you with no regrets. It will make your life easier in the long run. And if you’ve not made the decision to be sexually pure, and you’ve already plunged into sexual relationships, take a minute and make a decision to be sexually pure from this point forward. Determine to not let peer pressure, the media and other things determine your sexual choices. Let God be the one who sets the standard for sex. Follow after God’s plan for sex and you’ll be glad you did!


Every Teenager’s Little Black Book on Sex & Dating
This book is awesome especially if you don’t like reading very much! It is a very quick read and has tons of great information on sex and dating.

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Taking Responsibility For Your Actions

Posted on September 3, 2014

youth-devotion-characterHave you ever placed the blame on someone else for something that you did? I remember one time I really wanted to do that. I was trying to  make my cousins laugh, so I began writing curse words on the side of my grandparent’s camper. I did this after my cousins had encouraged me to do it.  I gave into peer pressure and wrote all kinds of bad words on the side of the camper in the dust. To my utter horror, one of my cousins told my grandma what I had done.

Needless to say, I was pretty mad for getting caught. I couldn’t believe my cousins had encouraged me to write bad words on the camper, and then they turned around and told my grandma on me. I was the one who got in trouble when they were the ones encouraging me to do it. I wanted more than anything to blame them for my actions. I wanted to tell my grandma that my cousins were the ones that encouraged me to write the curse words on the camper in the first place.

It didn’t matter though to my grandma. I was the one who wrote on the camper, so I was the one that got in trouble. I learned a valuable lesson that day. I was responsible for my actions. Sure, someone might have encouraged me to do the bad thing, but in the end, I was the one who did it. So the mess I had gotten myself into was my own fault.

One of the hardest things to do in life is to take responsibility for your actions. Its so much easier to blame someone else or your circumstances for where you’re at in life. However, its when you begin to take responsibility for your actions that you begin to really become a person of character.

In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility.” ― Eleanor Roosevelt

So I encourage you to take responsibility for your actions. Its not always fun, but it will help you grow into a person of character. In the end, you’re the person resposible for where you are in life and your relationship with God. You have to choose. Its a bit like the verse below.

But maybe you don’t want to serve theLord. You must choose for yourselves today. Today you must decide who you will serve. “- Joshua 24:15 a

When its all said and done, its really up to you to choose your actions. Its up to you whether you serve God or not. Its up to you how far you go in life. So choose to make wise decisions and run after God. In the end, you’ll grow and become a person of character.

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4 Reasons Discipline Is Okay

Posted on August 27, 2014

You probably cringe at the word discipline. You might think of that time you got in trouble for stealing your brother’s allowance and were grounded for a month. Most likely, you don’t think about discipline in a positive light. Discipline is usually never easy and most of the time hurts your flesh. But discipline can be good too. Here’s a few reasons why.

  1. Discipline helps you grow – As much as it stinks to be disciplined by a parent, authority figure, or someone else, it can also help you grow. Being disciplined points out areas in your life that you might be weak in or in need of some tweaking. Though discipline hurts, in the end, you come out learning and growing!
  2. Discipline makes you stronger. – Discipline seems to always hurt a bit when you’re in the middle of it, but if you keep a good attitude and your heart right, you find out that you’re able to come out on the other side stronger and better for it.
  3. Discipline keeps you humble. – Discipline has a way of keeping you humble. There is nothing like being corrected to really keep you from getting a big head or thinking too much of yourself. Discipline keeps you humble.
  4. Discipline helps you learn. – Most of the lessons in character I remember from growing up came from being disciplined. There is something about being corrected and disciplined that makes you remember your mistake. If you choose to not get upset but to learn from being disciplined, you’ll find that you’re able to grow into a person that has more character.

Discipline is a good thing, even though it hurts sometimes. It helps you grow and learn. So no matter where discipline comes from (parents, teachers, etc) remember that God has placed those people in your life to help you grow stronger and learn from your mistakes.

 

Let us know your thoughts: What comes to your mind when you think about discipline?

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The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens This is an awesome book with great suggestions on how to develop good habits. The habits you develop can make or break you!

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Why Should You Choose Sexual Purity?

Posted on August 25, 2014

Sexual Purity For TeenagersSex is a huge thing. If you’re honest, you probably think about it a lot. Maybe you think its going to be magical like they show on movies. Or maybe you’ve already had sex and are wondering what should you do now. Does the act of having sex before marriage now make you unable to be used by God?

Lots of people have different philosophies about sex and sexual purity. There are purity pledges you can take, purity rings you can buy, and tons of ideas floating out there about sexual purity. So how do you decide to be sexually pure? Here are a few things to remember.

  1. The choice is yours. Only you can decide to be sexually pure. You can choose to accept God’s plan for sex within marriage, or you can choose to ignore it. That’s your choice, no one can force you to do it. Its important to not make the decision to remain sexually pure because you’re feeling pressure at your youth group or church. Make the choice for you. If you make a choice because of peer pressure at youth group, you’ll end up feeling resentful towards it. If you make the choice out of fear that someone at church will judge you, you’ll end up regretting it.
    Choose to be pure because you love God and want to follow His plan for your life.
    Not because you feel forced into it or because of fear of others. Be pure because you’ve decided between you and God its what you want for your life.
  2. Get to know what God says. If you’re having a hard time deciding to be sexually pure, just spend some time in the Bible. Read scriptures that deal with your body and how God sees it. Get to know your heavenly father and His heart on sex. That way when you decide to be sexually pure you’ve made an informed decision based on what God’s word says. Here are a few verses to check out.
    1 Corinthians 6:18
    1 Thessalonians 4:3-5
    Ephesians 5:3
  3. Believe you’re worth it.You’ve got to see yourself the way God sees you. You’ve got to believe that you’re worth the wait. Even if it means that a girl or guy you’re dating will break up with you because you’re not giving in sexually, decide that you are worth the wait.
    Even though its hard to wait when you’re young, if you choose to believe that you’re worth the wait it will really help. If you’re going to stay strong in the midst of sexual temptation, you’ve got to really believe that you are worth it. You’ve got to believe that no matter what someone will say or do to you that you are worth the wait sexually. Don’t give in just to get along or go with the flow!

The only way that the choice to be sexually pure works is if you choose for yourself for the right reasons. You’ve got to choose to be pure because its what you believe and what you want for your life. You can’t do it because it makes your mom happy or because all your friends in youth group are doing it. You’ve got to decide to do it because you’ve seen the benefit of it in God’s word and you choose it for yourself.

Finally, if you’ve messed up sexually, its not the end of the road for you. You’re not disqualified from ever doing things for God and getting into heaven or anything like that. But you can choose to move on from your sexual mess up. You can move forward and live a sexually pure life from this point on. Here’s a great devo about what to do if you’ve messed up in this area.

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Sex180: The Next Revolution This is a great book with lots of ways to rethink our culture’s view of sexuality and challenges you to think about sex how God would!
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Help! My Parents Are Getting A Divorce – Part 2

Posted on August 20, 2014

parents-divorce-teen-advice-lesson

Dealing with your parents’ divorce is not a cake walk. Perhaps one of the main things bothering you emotionally is unforgiveness. Its easy when divorce happens to want to place blame on someone or even on yourself. You may think that if you had done something different, your parents wouldn’t be divorcing. Or perhaps you might place the blame on your mom because you think if she had just been more understanding to your dad, your family might not be falling apart.

In these situations, its easy to place blame and point fingers. You might want to hold a grudge to one parent or maybe even both. You find yourself being upset at them and wishing that things were different. So how do you begin working through these feelings of unforgiveness?

The first thing to do is forgive yourself. Your parent’s decision to divorce most likely had nothing to do with you. You’ve got to realize that you are not to blame. You have to let go of those thoughts that come and make you think that the divorce was all your fault. That is simply not true. You have got to choose to line your thoughts up with God’s word and choose to think on the truth. The truth in this situation is that your parents are divorcing because of reasons outside of you and your control. It is not your fault, so don’t listen to the lies that say it is.

Secondly, you’ve got to let go of any unforgiveness that you’re holding against others. You might blame your mom, or your dad for the divorce. And while it may be one of their faults, you’ve got to look past that. You’ve got to choose to forgive your parents for getting a divorce. You’ve got to choose to not dwell on their shortcomings but rather love them with God’s love.

The Bible talks about forgiveness in Matthew 18. There it tells us that we are to forgive and keep forgiving time and time again.

At that point Peter got up the nerve to ask, “Master, how many times do I forgive a brother or sister who hurts me? Seven?” Jesus replied, “Seven! Hardly. Try seventy times seven. – Matthew 18:21-22

 

We are to forgive and keep forgiving. No matter what happens. No matter how much your parents don’t deserve it, we are told to keep forgiving.

One of the most important steps to overcoming after divorce is learning to forgive. Forgiveness will keep your heart right and keep you from getting bitter toward others. Choose to follow what God’s word says and forgive others and yourself.

 

Check out this book: Abba: Finding Comfort in the Father After Your Parents’ Divorce it deals with a lot of the emotions that you have to work through after a divorce and offers good advice and ways to allow God to help you heal after the pain of your parent’s divorce.

 

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Help! My Parents Are Getting A Divorce

Posted on August 13, 2014

parents-divorce-teen-advice-lesson

Divorce is never an easy thing to deal with. When your parents go through a divorce you’re faced with tons of different emotions. You have to  face living in a different home or splitting time between two different homes, possibly feelings of abandonment and many other things. What do you do when it feels like your world as you knew it is now crumbling around you? Who should you turn to and what should you do?

  1. Get the help you need. Most likely your parents divorce is affecting you. Probably more than you might let on to your friends or other family members. Its okay to feel angry, upset, let down and hurt at different times. Its okay if you need some help sorting through all your emotions and feelings. Get some help if you need it.
    Don’t be afraid to get help if you need it. You’ve got people in your life that can direct you to get the help you need. A good place to start is by asking your pastor or youth pastor. They’ll be able to direct you to someone that you can talk to, or help you themselves. They also will be able to give you some resources to help you deal with this hard time in your life.
  2. Go to God. It is easy in hard times like a divorce to pull away from God. Maybe you don’t understand why this is happening to you. Its easy when you don’t understand why to want to pull away from God. However, in hard times is when you need God the most.
    Spend time reading your Bible and asking God to help heal your emotional hurts. He is able to be a father to you when maybe your father isn’t. He’s able to be a friend when you feel all alone. God is faithful and will be there when it feels no one else is. Don’t turn away from God in tough times, but pull close to Him.
    God heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds. – Psalm 147:3 (CEB)
  3. Give yourself time. It will take some time to work through your emotions. Don’t be unrealistic in your expectations of how long it will take you to heal emotionally. It will take time before things feel right in your life. Don’t get down on yourself if you have a bad day. Know that some days will be better than others. Give yourself some time to heal.

Divorce is never easy. It is hard on all those involved. The most important thing you can do is to use this tough time to bring you closer to God. God can heal the hurts inside of you that no one else can.

 

Check out this book: Abba: Finding Comfort in the Father After Your Parents’ Divorce it has lots of Jenny’s real-life feelings and stories of going through her parent’s divorce and also solid Bible teaching about how to deal with a divorce.

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