Browsing Tag

relationships & dating

Why Dating Is A Lot Like Ordering From the Starbucks Menu

Posted on February 5, 2014

Youth Lesson on DatingI can think of several times I’ve gone into Starbucks and have been really unsure what to order. I probably looked the menu up and down a hundred times, just trying to find the “right” drink for me.

I don’t know a lot about coffee, so many times I’ll ask the person taking my order what they like to drink. I’ve ordered some drinks that they liked, but many times I’m disappointed in my order.

Its not that Starbucks is bad, its that I don’t know enough about coffee to ask for the right things. I end up with an order that doesn’t always fit my expectations.

A lot of the time, I think its easy to do the same thing when it comes to dating. Its easy to not know enough about dating and then end up disappointed in the process.

One important thing you can do when dating is to be an informed dater. Take some time to list out the four or five things you must have in the opposite sex. Likewise, list some things that you can’t stand. Then use this list as a guideline when approaching new relationships. This will help you weed out potential dates and help reduce the chances you will be disappointed in the end.

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Tips For Dealing With Bullying

Posted on August 29, 2013

Bullying is becoming more and more common these days among teenagers. In fact, one in four kids in the U.S. are bullied on a regular basis according to bullyingstatistics.org. So more likely than not, you or someone you know has felt the effects of bullying.

Teenage Bullying Devotional

So what are some things you can do to help combat bullying in your school?

  1. Pray – it sounds absolutely crazy, but sometimes the best thing to do in these situations is to pray. Pray that God will give you wisdom to know how to deal with the situation. Pray for those who are bullying that God will open their eyes to see what it is they’re doing (Eph 3:17-23)
  2. Love – this is super crazy. It does work. Walking in love is a great way to combat bullying. If you respond in love, it gives the bully no fuel to the fire. Kill them with kindness, it works.
  3. Tell – If someone is being abused physically against their will, you are justified in telling a teacher, principal or faculty member at your school.
These are a few suggestions to help with dealing with bullying in your school. Never underestimate the power of praying for those who are bullying others. More than likely, the person bullying is really hurting inside. You might be the person that God could use to help heal them. You may even end up with the opportunity to lead them to Christ!

 

How To Deal With A Break-up

Posted on August 16, 2013

Breaking up will happen to you.  Plain and simple.  Sometimes breaking up with a boyfriend or girlfriend really hurts.  Other times, a break up might feel like such a sweet relief.

Part of being in a relationship with the opposite sex is learning how to deal with a break-up.  Because let’s face it, unless you end up marrying the person you’re dating, you’re going to break up with them.  So with that in mind, here are some tips for dealing with a break-up.

teenage devotion - relationships

1. Determine your basis for your self-esteem – This is an important thing to think about.  If your worth comes from who your friends are, who you’re dating, or any other person, your break-up is going to hurt more.  There is not a single person who can love you enough to fill your heart or heal your hurts.  At some point people will let you down.  So, where should our worth come from?

Worth should be based on what God says about us, not what we feel, not what others do or say to us.  Reading Psalm 139 is a great place to start when determining a foundation for your self-esteem.

2.  What you put in determines the level of hurt on the way out – if you invest everything into a relationship, your money, your body, your time, your emotions, you’d better believe it will hurt when the relationship ends.  Girls especially, until your wedding day, you need to be guarding your heart, your body and your emotions.  Don’t give those things away freely like so many do.  Until you have said your vows, there is a large chance that this relationship will break off and you not be with the person you’re dating.  My advice to you is this…don’t give it all away.  It is not worth it.  What you put into a relationship will determine how much it hurts when it ends.

3.  Realize your relationship is temporary – Around 99% of high school relationships don’t end in marriage.  What does this mean?  It means that you’re going to get dumped.  So don’t take your relationship too seriously.  Don’t tell that person you love them.  Don’t have sex with them.  Don’t ignore all other relationships because of them.  See the relationship for what it is…it is temporary.  Relationships are good to get to know people of the opposite sex and find out what types of people you would like in a future marriage partner.  However, its more than likely going to end, so don’t invest too much into a relationship.

4. Ask God to heal you – Maybe you’ve been really hurt by someone in this break-up process.  No matter what, relationships do hurt when they end, that’s just a fact of life.  Ask God to heal you where you’re hurting.  Ask for his wisdom and help with healing your heart after a relationship that has ended.  He is able to help heal you when no one else can.

 

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How to Deal With Mean People – Part 2

Posted on July 11, 2013

Teen Deovtion - Mean People Bullies

God tells us in Matthew 5:44 – “Love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you!” (NLT)

Loving people that are mean or don’t treat you the way you think you should be treated can be really hard at times.

We learned in the last devotion that we can love others because God put the love to do it with in our hearts. But what does loving a mean person look like in everyday life?

  • Be kind – this means that no matter how cruel someone is you respond back to them with kind words and actions. You don’t try to get revenge or get even.
  • Put yourself in the other person’s shoes – it’s easy to get mad and get hurt when you feel like you’ve been treated unfairly. However, try putting yourself in that person’s shoes. If you had been through the things that they had been through you might act the same way they did.
  • Realize that you hurt people too. Have you ever said something mean and later regretted it? Or maybe you weren’t even trying to be mean but what you said came across in the wrong way. How would you want to be treated in those situations? You’d probably want understanding and forgiveness so extend that to others.

Loving mean people can be a real challenge. It can be hard to do the right thing. Just remember that loving mean people is something you can grow in and develop more. Don’t feel bad if you’re not perfect at it.

Also, realize that God is there to give you ideas and help on how to love mean people. Keep him in the loop and you’ll find that God has your back when it comes to dealing with mean people.

 

How to Be A Good Friend

Posted on June 20, 2013

Teen Devotion - How to Be A Good Friend

Being a good friend isn’t always easy. In fact, sometimes it takes hard work. However, being a good friend is something that with God’s help can be accomplished. Check out our tips on how to become a good friend.

Friends come and friends go, but a true friend sticks by you like family – Proverbs 18:24 (Message)

 

  • Be Friendly – If you want to have friends you must begin by being friendly.
    Proverbs 18:24 – A man that hath friends must show himself friendly (KJV)If you want to have good friends you’ve got to begin by being friendly. Focus on going out of your way to talk to others. By being friendly, and talking to others, you’ll find that you attract more friends.
  • Be There – If you have a friend that is going through a hard time, don’t bail on them. Stick around and just be there for them. Many times you might not know what to say or do, but you just being there will mean a lot to your friend.
  • Listen – A good friend listens to others. Do you spend all the time talking and dominating the conversation? If you do, perhaps take some time to spend listening to others. People will want to be around you more if you’re willing to listen to them.
  • Be Light –  One of the best ways you can be a good friend is by letting your life show others how good Jesus is. Let your friends know what a difference Jesus has made in your life. Don’t hide your relationship with God, but let that relationship shine though in all you do.

 

Being a good friend takes work, but it is worth it. When you develop good habits in your friendships, you’ll find that you become the type of person others want to be around. Become a good friend so that you can help lead others to know Christ.

Listen: We Can Change the World by Hawk Nelson

The Truth About Friends With Benefits

Posted on March 15, 2013

Friends With BenefitsIf you do a Google search on the term “Friends With Benefits,” you’ll find tons of different opinions. Some will say that these relationships don’t really do any harm, so its okay to enter this type of relationship. Others will tell you that these types of relationships are dangerous. So, with all the different messages out there about friends with benefits, how do you decide what’s right?

First of all, if you’re a Christian, you should be asking, ‘what does the Bible has to say about these types of relationships?’ The Bible should be your final answer on all issues. The Bible says, “Run away from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body.” – 1 Corinthians 6:18 I like how the Bible puts it…Run away from sexual sin.  Bottom line, if a friends with benefits relationship causes you to sin sexually, you should run away from it.

Secondly, no matter what culture tells you, sex is more than just a physical act. Sex is like super glue. It binds you together to the person that you have sex with.  That’s why God encourages you to save sex until marriage. Sex is much more than physical and shouldn’t be taken lightly. There is a great quote from the movie, Friends With Benefits that says it really well. They’re talking about friends with benefits and Tommy says this, “She’s a girl. Sex always means more to them even if they don’t admit it”.

Whether you’re a guy or a girl, sex always means more than just the physical act. God designed it that way. Sex is like glue, and if you think you can have lots of sex with lots of different people without getting affected in some way, you’re believing a lie. Sex will affect you, so like 1 Corinthians 6:18 says, run away from sexual sin. Run away from relationships that cause you to sin sexually. Run away from those relationships, so that when the time is right, you will be ready to meet the person that you’re looking for.


Sex180: The Next Revolution This is a great book with lots of ways to rethink our culture’s view of sexuality and challenges you to think about sex how God would!

Real Friends With Benefits

Posted on January 20, 2013

Friends with benefits is a term that has become increasingly more popular recently especially among teenagers and college students. Urban Dictionary defines the term friends with benefits like this:

“Two friends who have a sexual realtionship without being emotionally involved. Typically two good friends who have casual sex without a monogomous relationship or any kind of commitment.”

You probably know people at your school that are friends with benefits.  I believe these relationships are so popular because they fill a need that lots of people want: being friends with someone that you really trust, and also having sex with that person.

I believe that God was the one who created REAL friends with benefits.  Yes, you read that right. God was the one who created REAL friends with benefits. Basically, friends with benefits is simply having sex with a close friend.  I believe that is why God created marriage. Marriage allows for sex with your closest friend.  In fact, REAL friends with benefits(Marriage) is way better than anything that you can find in the relationships at your school. REAL friends with benefits is great because it gives you fulfillment that you can never find in a dating relationship. REAL friends with benefits is something that God created for you to enjoy, in marriage.

I encourage you to not allow yourself to settle for anything less than God’s best when it comes to dating relationships.  Sometimes that might mean you may have to wait until God brings that right person into your life. The great news is, God’s best is worth the wait. God can bring a relationship into your life that will be more than you could ever imagine.

REAL friends with benefits is something that will last a lifetime.  REAL friends with benefits will bring you so much more fulfillment than many of the shallow relationships you’ll find at your school.  So, stay strong and wait until you’re married to enjoy the benefits that God created in a REAL friends with benefits relationship, which is marriage.

Listen:  Those Who Wait by Fireflight

you’ve messed up sexually…now what?

Posted on November 19, 2012

Its easy when you’ve gone to far sexually to think that there is no hope.  You might think that you’ve messed up too much and there is no hope for you.  This couldn’t be further from the truth.  If you’ve gone to far sexually in a relationship, things aren’t over for you.

Its also easy to think that now you can’t do anything for God or to let going to far with sex make you think that God doesn’t love you or care for you.  Nothing could be farther from the truth.  God loves you.  That will never change. He might not be super happy with a choice you made, but that doesn’t change his love to you.

Teenage Devotion - Going too far sexually

So, how do you move beyond going to far sexually?

  1. Talk to God about it. – Simply let God know how you feel about messing up sexually.  The Bible talks about this in 1 John 1:9.  He says if we let him know when we mess up, that he will forgive us, and cleanse us from all our sin.  So let God know about it and don’t let it stop you from talking to God.
  2. Ask God for healing – Depending on the nature of your sexual relationship, you might be experiencing some pain or hurt from the situation.  Ask God for his help and healing for the situation.
  3. Make a new path.  Decide to set up good boundaries in your dating relationships to keep you from going to far sexually again.  Find ways to protect yourself.  Also, continue to stay close to God.  As you fall deeper in love with God, it becomes easier to say no to sexual temptation.

Messing up sexually is not the end.  God is always there to help you get back on track if you’ve messed up sexually.  Remember that you can always go to Him to get the help and healing you need to live a life free from sexual sin.

 

The Truth About Sex

Posted on November 14, 2012

Try turning on the TV for more than 30 seconds without seeing a commercial that is sexual in nature or without seeing a TV show that doesn’t have the main characters sleeping around. TV makes sex seem amazing, like it is so great, and we all need to get out there and just starting doing it.

Now in all fairness, sex is amazing. Its fun, and enjoyable. However, the way that most people are using sex today is totally wrong. Sex is meant to be used in one way…marriage. People will tell you that is old fashioned, not possible any more. Don’t believe them for a second.

I have never met a person that waited to have sex until they were married that has regretted it. NOT ONE!! Sex was designed by God as a gift, to be used in a marriage relationship. God wants you to have fun and to enjoy sex…but he asks that you wait until marriage.

Why do you think that is? Is God trying to keep you from having fun? Is he just too old fashioned and asking too much of us to wait? God created sex, and he knows the best way for us to use it. Think of it this way, if you wanted to know how to use your computer, where would you go to find out how? You might start by going to the website of the person that made the computer. You’d start by going to the person that made it to find out how to get it working/how to use it. In the same way, we should go to God to find out the right way to use sex.

God created sex for us to enjoy, but within the boundary of marriage. He’s not trying to keep you from having fun, he’s trying to protect you from heartache, STD’s, and pregnancy.

I encourage you to live your life sexually pure…with God’s help you can do it!

Read: Uncensored–Dating, Relationship, and Sex: You Think You Know, But You Have No Idea by Jeanne Mayo

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