You might have heard at church or youth group about waiting until marriage to have sex. But in the halls of your school, the shows you watch on TV, and stuff you talk about with your friends, you hear lots of talk about sex. You hear how good it is, or how much fun it is. So when it comes down to it, why should you be waiting until marriage to have sex?
Here are three reasons to wait to have sex until you’re married.
- You’re worth the wait.
You have got to believe this. You are incredible. You have limitless worth to God. He paid a huge price to get to know you. That fact alone should make you see how valuable you are to God. God sees you as important and valuable. You’ve then got to believe that about yourself too. You’ve got to take to heart your value to God and believe that you’re worth the wait. You might have a girlfriend or boyfriend who tells you differently. They might pressure you to have sex with them. However, stand firm in your belief that you have value to God.
The right person will see that value too and believe that you’re worth the wait. When you meet the right person, they will push you to be closer to God. They will see your value and want to wait to have sex. If the person you’re dating is pressuring you, run away. Realize that you’re worth the wait.
But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. – Romans 5:8
- The sex is better.
You might have seen the movies or read books about how awesome a one night stand is. Don’t fall for this lie. There is nothing fulfilling about casual sex. Sex is designed to be something that brings you together with someone. If you want to have great fulfilling sex, then don’t look for it in one night stands or other relationships. The best sex is found in marriage. God designed us for intimacy and relationship and His plan was for that in marriage.
If you want to have great sex, wait until you’re married. Its in marriage that you can really experience the joy God intended when He created sex.
- Its easier on your heart.
Many people do survive a past relationship failure that involved sex and they still were okay. But if you were to ask them, they would tell you they have regrets from that relationship. That’s because sex is like glue. It bonds you to another person. When the relationship ends, you are still bonded to that person. And just like if you glued two pieces of paper together, and then later tried to separate them, there would be lots of ripping and tearing involved. In the same way, if you bond yourself to someone with sex and you’re not married when that relationship ends, there will be tearing of your heart. Your heart is too important to let this happen. Choose to not let yourself get hurt time and time again by saving yourself for marriage.
Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.
– 1 Cor 6:18 (NIV)
Have you ever had someone that you really liked as more than a friend and you would have done anything to get that person to like you back? You would have changed what you wore, or the music you listened to. You would have dropped all your other friends in hopes that this person would like you.
If you haven’t ever felt this way, its pretty safe to assume that at some point in your life you will feel this way about someone. So with that in mind, here are a few ways that you can become more attractive to the opposite sex.
- Be yourself. This one can be really tough if there is a person that you really like. You can want to change how you dress or how you talk hoping that the other person will notice you or like you. This is never a good solution. If you happen to get the person’s attention, you’ve got yourself into a mess. You’ve got to keep acting like someone else for them to stay interested. You can’t hide the real you forever. The best bet in finding a happy, lasting relationship is to be yourself.
- Don’t give too much sexually. If you are a person that gives to much sexually, you’ll end up getting used. Perhaps you’ll get the attention of the person you like, but is that the kind of attention you really want? In the end giving too much sexually will wind up with you getting hurt. There’s a reason the Bible talks about sexual purity. Its to keep you from getting hurt really bad.
“Guard your heart above all else, for it is the source of life.” – Proverbs 4:23 (HCSB)
- Hold out for the right types of people. Many times its easy to think that having someone to date is better than no one. This is just not true. Its better to wait for the right types of people to come into your life. People that love God like you do. People that have similar values and feel the same way about things as you do. Don’t date just to date. Wait to date the right types of people. It doesn’t do you any good to fall in love with someone who isn’t right for you. Guard your heart and don’t just date anyone.
- Pursue your interests. When you’re not in a relationship, don’t spend all your free time moping around and wishing you had someone to date. Instead, spend the time pursuing things that you’re interested in. If you’ve always wanted to play guitar, start taking lessons. If you love to bake, find out how to become the best baker you can. Spend time developing your interests and developing yourself. You’ll be happier as you do, and more than likely, you’ll end up meeting someone who has interests just like you.
These are just a few tips to help you become more attractive to the opposite sex. You should never become obsessed though with pursuing someone of the opposite sex. Dating someone can be fun, but it will never fulfill you. The only person that can fill you and make you truly happy is Jesus. So always go to Him for help and wisdom in dating.
Sex is a huge thing. If you’re honest, you probably think about it a lot. Maybe you think its going to be magical like they show on movies. Or maybe you’ve already had sex and are wondering what should you do now. Does the act of having sex before marriage now make you unable to be used by God?
Lots of people have different philosophies about sex and sexual purity. There are purity pledges you can take, purity rings you can buy, and tons of ideas floating out there about sexual purity. So how do you decide to be sexually pure? Here are a few things to remember.
- The choice is yours. Only you can decide to be sexually pure. You can choose to accept God’s plan for sex within marriage, or you can choose to ignore it. That’s your choice, no one can force you to do it. Its important to not make the decision to remain sexually pure because you’re feeling pressure at your youth group or church. Make the choice for you. If you make a choice because of peer pressure at youth group, you’ll end up feeling resentful towards it. If you make the choice out of fear that someone at church will judge you, you’ll end up regretting it.
Choose to be pure because you love God and want to follow His plan for your life.
Not because you feel forced into it or because of fear of others. Be pure because you’ve decided between you and God its what you want for your life.
- Get to know what God says. If you’re having a hard time deciding to be sexually pure, just spend some time in the Bible. Read scriptures that deal with your body and how God sees it. Get to know your heavenly father and His heart on sex. That way when you decide to be sexually pure you’ve made an informed decision based on what God’s word says. Here are a few verses to check out.
1 Corinthians 6:18
1 Thessalonians 4:3-5
- Believe you’re worth it.You’ve got to see yourself the way God sees you. You’ve got to believe that you’re worth the wait. Even if it means that a girl or guy you’re dating will break up with you because you’re not giving in sexually, decide that you are worth the wait.
Even though its hard to wait when you’re young, if you choose to believe that you’re worth the wait it will really help. If you’re going to stay strong in the midst of sexual temptation, you’ve got to really believe that you are worth it. You’ve got to believe that no matter what someone will say or do to you that you are worth the wait sexually. Don’t give in just to get along or go with the flow!
The only way that the choice to be sexually pure works is if you choose for yourself for the right reasons. You’ve got to choose to be pure because its what you believe and what you want for your life. You can’t do it because it makes your mom happy or because all your friends in youth group are doing it. You’ve got to decide to do it because you’ve seen the benefit of it in God’s word and you choose it for yourself.
Finally, if you’ve messed up sexually, its not the end of the road for you. You’re not disqualified from ever doing things for God and getting into heaven or anything like that. But you can choose to move on from your sexual mess up. You can move forward and live a sexually pure life from this point on. Here’s a great devo about what to do if you’ve messed up in this area.
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Sex180: The Next Revolution This is a great book with lots of ways to rethink our culture’s view of sexuality and challenges you to think about sex how God would!
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