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dating & relationships

5 Reasons To Break Up With Your Girlfriend or Boyfriend

Relationships can get complicated sometimes. Its hard to know if you should break up or make up with the person you’re dating. We’ve come up with an awesome list of reasons why you should break up with the person you’re dating.

  1. They’re not ‘with it’ spiritually – You’ve probably heard that if the person you’re dating isn’t a Christian you should not date them. But many times we let our guard down with who we date after that. If the person is a Christian, we figure it’s okay, and plunge ahead into a dating relationship. However, even though a person is a Christian, that doesn’t mean they are in the same place as you spiritually. You might be really into God and want to know Him more, but the person you’re dating couldn’t really care less. They’d rather just watch TV than get to know God. If this is the case with you, you need to break up with this person. If you’re not on the same page spiritually, break up with the person you’re dating.
  2. They’re pressuring you sexually. If you’re dating someone that is pressuring you to do anything sexually that you’re uncomfortable with, run for your life. The person you date should love you for you, and not pressure you to do something that you’re uncomfortable with. If you’re being pressured to do anything sexually in any way big or small, run for your life!
  3. They flirt with others. If the person you’re dating is always flirting with others when you’re around they don’t respect you. If the person you date doesn’t respect you enough to pay attention to you when you’re out on a date then you should find someone who will. Don’t be afraid to break up with someone if they’re flirting with others in front of your face.
  4. Your parents and friends don’t approve. If your parents and friends don’t approve of your relationship, you should be open to taking a closer look at your relationship. They may be noticing some warning flags that you’re blinded to. Take note of what your friends and family think of your relationship. They can offer you solid advice and see things you might be missing. If they don’t approve, take a good honest look at your relationship and determine if you should break up.
  5. You’re Being Abused – If you’re being abused either verbally or physically, no matter how small you need to get out of your relationship. Small abuses now could grow into huge problems if you kept dating and chose to marry this person. If you’re being abused, break up!

These are just a few things to think about when you’re dating. If you are experiencing any of these in your relationship you need to prayerfully consider breaking up with the person you’re dating. Never settle for anything less than God’s best.

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How To Deal With A Break-up

Breaking up will happen to you.  Plain and simple.  Sometimes breaking up with a boyfriend or girlfriend really hurts.  Other times, a break up might feel like such a sweet relief.

Part of being in a relationship with the opposite sex is learning how to deal with a break-up.  Because let’s face it, unless you end up marrying the person you’re dating, you’re going to break up with them.  So with that in mind, here are some tips for dealing with a break-up.

teenage devotion - relationships

1. Determine your basis for your self-esteem – This is an important thing to think about.  If your worth comes from who your friends are, who you’re dating, or any other person, your break-up is going to hurt more.  There is not a single person who can love you enough to fill your heart or heal your hurts.  At some point people will let you down.  So, where should our worth come from?

Worth should be based on what God says about us, not what we feel, not what others do or say to us.  Reading Psalm 139 is a great place to start when determining a foundation for your self-esteem.

2.  What you put in determines the level of hurt on the way out – if you invest everything into a relationship, your money, your body, your time, your emotions, you’d better believe it will hurt when the relationship ends.  Girls especially, until your wedding day, you need to be guarding your heart, your body and your emotions.  Don’t give those things away freely like so many do.  Until you have said your vows, there is a large chance that this relationship will break off and you not be with the person you’re dating.  My advice to you is this…don’t give it all away.  It is not worth it.  What you put into a relationship will determine how much it hurts when it ends.

3.  Realize your relationship is temporary – Around 99% of high school relationships don’t end in marriage.  What does this mean?  It means that you’re going to get dumped.  So don’t take your relationship too seriously.  Don’t tell that person you love them.  Don’t have sex with them.  Don’t ignore all other relationships because of them.  See the relationship for what it is…it is temporary.  Relationships are good to get to know people of the opposite sex and find out what types of people you would like in a future marriage partner.  However, its more than likely going to end, so don’t invest too much into a relationship.

4. Ask God to heal you – Maybe you’ve been really hurt by someone in this break-up process.  No matter what, relationships do hurt when they end, that’s just a fact of life.  Ask God to heal you where you’re hurting.  Ask for his wisdom and help with healing your heart after a relationship that has ended.  He is able to help heal you when no one else can.


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The Truth About Friends With Benefits

Friends With BenefitsIf you do a Google search on the term “Friends With Benefits,” you’ll find tons of different opinions. Some will say that these relationships don’t really do any harm, so its okay to enter this type of relationship. Others will tell you that these types of relationships are dangerous. So, with all the different messages out there about friends with benefits, how do you decide what’s right?

First of all, if you’re a Christian, you should be asking, ‘what does the Bible has to say about these types of relationships?’ The Bible should be your final answer on all issues. The Bible says, “Run away from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body.” – 1 Corinthians 6:18 I like how the Bible puts it…Run away from sexual sin.  Bottom line, if a friends with benefits relationship causes you to sin sexually, you should run away from it.

Secondly, no matter what culture tells you, sex is more than just a physical act. Sex is like super glue. It binds you together to the person that you have sex with.  That’s why God encourages you to save sex until marriage. Sex is much more than physical and shouldn’t be taken lightly. There is a great quote from the movie, Friends With Benefits that says it really well. They’re talking about friends with benefits and Tommy says this, “She’s a girl. Sex always means more to them even if they don’t admit it”.

Whether you’re a guy or a girl, sex always means more than just the physical act. God designed it that way. Sex is like glue, and if you think you can have lots of sex with lots of different people without getting affected in some way, you’re believing a lie. Sex will affect you, so like 1 Corinthians 6:18 says, run away from sexual sin. Run away from relationships that cause you to sin sexually. Run away from those relationships, so that when the time is right, you will be ready to meet the person that you’re looking for.

Sex180: The Next Revolution This is a great book with lots of ways to rethink our culture’s view of sexuality and challenges you to think about sex how God would!

you’ve messed up sexually…now what?

Its easy when you’ve gone to far sexually to think that there is no hope.  You might think that you’ve messed up too much and there is no hope for you.  This couldn’t be further from the truth.  If you’ve gone to far sexually in a relationship, things aren’t over for you.

Its also easy to think that now you can’t do anything for God or to let going to far with sex make you think that God doesn’t love you or care for you.  Nothing could be farther from the truth.  God loves you.  That will never change. He might not be super happy with a choice you made, but that doesn’t change his love to you.

Teenage Devotion - Going too far sexually

So, how do you move beyond going to far sexually?

  1. Talk to God about it. – Simply let God know how you feel about messing up sexually.  The Bible talks about this in 1 John 1:9.  He says if we let him know when we mess up, that he will forgive us, and cleanse us from all our sin.  So let God know about it and don’t let it stop you from talking to God.
  2. Ask God for healing – Depending on the nature of your sexual relationship, you might be experiencing some pain or hurt from the situation.  Ask God for his help and healing for the situation.
  3. Make a new path.  Decide to set up good boundaries in your dating relationships to keep you from going to far sexually again.  Find ways to protect yourself.  Also, continue to stay close to God.  As you fall deeper in love with God, it becomes easier to say no to sexual temptation.

Messing up sexually is not the end.  God is always there to help you get back on track if you’ve messed up sexually.  Remember that you can always go to Him to get the help and healing you need to live a life free from sexual sin.


The Truth About Sex

Try turning on the TV for more than 30 seconds without seeing a commercial that is sexual in nature or without seeing a TV show that doesn’t have the main characters sleeping around. TV makes sex seem amazing, like it is so great, and we all need to get out there and just starting doing it.

Now in all fairness, sex is amazing. Its fun, and enjoyable. However, the way that most people are using sex today is totally wrong. Sex is meant to be used in one way…marriage. People will tell you that is old fashioned, not possible any more. Don’t believe them for a second.

I have never met a person that waited to have sex until they were married that has regretted it. NOT ONE!! Sex was designed by God as a gift, to be used in a marriage relationship. God wants you to have fun and to enjoy sex…but he asks that you wait until marriage.

Why do you think that is? Is God trying to keep you from having fun? Is he just too old fashioned and asking too much of us to wait? God created sex, and he knows the best way for us to use it. Think of it this way, if you wanted to know how to use your computer, where would you go to find out how? You might start by going to the website of the person that made the computer. You’d start by going to the person that made it to find out how to get it working/how to use it. In the same way, we should go to God to find out the right way to use sex.

God created sex for us to enjoy, but within the boundary of marriage. He’s not trying to keep you from having fun, he’s trying to protect you from heartache, STD’s, and pregnancy.

I encourage you to live your life sexually pure…with God’s help you can do it!

Read: Uncensored–Dating, Relationship, and Sex: You Think You Know, But You Have No Idea by Jeanne Mayo

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