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sexual purity

7 Strategies to Help You Stay Sexually Pure

Strategies to Remain Sexually Pure for Teenagers

Sexual temptation is something we all face at some point in our lives. Winning the battle against sexual temptation isn’t for the faint of heart. It’s hard to stay strong in a world where sexual purity is laughed at. However, with some good strategies in place, you can win the fight against sexual temptation.

Strategy One – Watch What You Watch

One of the best strategies to stay sexually pure begins with being careful what you watch online and on TV. You can begin to feed sexual desires by spending too much time watching the wrong things online and on TV. Be mindful of what you’re watching and what you spend time thinking about.

And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. – Phil 4:8 (NLT)

The battle in the physical is often won first in your mind. Choose to think Godly thoughts and watch Godly things online and on TV. It will make your fight against sexual temptation much easier.

Strategy Two – Find a mentor

Find someone you respect who has already made the journey before you. Perhaps it’s a youth worker, older friend, or sibling. Find someone who has won the battle of sexual temptation and learn everything you can from them. See what strategies worked for them in their own battle against sexual temptation and see if you can apply any to your life.

Walk with the wise and become wise; associate with fools and get in trouble. – Proverbs 13:20

Strategy Three – Walk Away

If you’re dating someone, and things start getting heated, don’t be afraid to walk away. Stand up, walk to the other side of the room, leave the area, avoid dark places, cars or whatever seems to work for you.

Run from anything that stimulates youthful lusts. Instead, pursue righteous living, faithfulness, love, and peace. Enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts. – 2 Timothy 2:22

Don’t be afraid to put on the brakes and walk away. You’re in control of your body. If you want to stay sexually pure, you’ll have to make the decision to walk away from situations where you’ll be tempted.

Strategy Four – Stay Accountable

Having a good friend or two to stay accountable with is important. You need someone to help challenge you to stay strong when you’re feeling weak. Battles aren’t fought alone. You need to find someone to help hold you accountable.

Strategy Five – Date others committed to avoiding sexual temptation

Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness? – 2 Cor 6:14

You can’t expect to stay sexually pure and date someone who doesn’t have that same value. It doesn’t work like that. You’ve got to find someone who shares that same value and date them. It will make it so much easier in the long run. Date someone who is as committed to staying sexually pure as you are.

Strategy Six – Have a reminder

Before we were married, my husband and I had a funny phrase we would say to each other to challenge ourselves to stay sexually pure. We’d tell each other, ‘keep it clean until June 13.’ Our wedding date was June 13. It sounds a little funny, but it worked as a great reminder for us. Whenever we were feeling weak in that area, we would say this funny catch phrase and it help remind us of our commitment to remain sexually pure.

Do something fun to remind yourself of your commitment. Whether it’s a ring, a catch phrase or something else, have a reminder that you can use to remind yourself to stay pure.

Strategy Seven – Keep it casual

Don’t take your relationship too seriously. Don’t assume that it will end in marriage. Don’t act like you’re already married. You will most likely have several relationships before you get married. Don’t put too much pressure on your relationship. Don’t assume that you will marry this person. Most likely you won’t. Take the pressure off, keep it casual and simply enjoy life.

Get to know the person, but don’t jump straight to love and marriage. Keep yourself pure by putting on the brakes a bit and keeping your relationship casual.

Here are a few tips when it comes to guarding your heart in relationships.

What are some other strategies you’ve used to avoid sexual temptation? Leave your thoughts in the comments below.

If you’re a youth leader and you enjoyed this devotion, we’ve made some discussion questions based on this lesson. Check them out below!


3 Reasons To Wait For Marriage

3 reasons to wait for marriageYou might have heard at church or youth group about waiting until marriage to have sex. But in the halls of your school, the shows you watch on TV, and stuff you talk about with your friends, you hear lots of talk about sex. You hear how good it is, or how much fun it is. So when it comes down to it, why should you be waiting until marriage to have sex?

Here are three reasons to wait to have sex until you’re married.

  1. You’re worth the wait.
    You have got to believe this. You are incredible. You have limitless worth to God. He paid a huge price to get to know you. That fact alone should make you see how valuable you are to God. God sees you as important and valuable. You’ve then got to believe that about yourself too. You’ve got to take to heart your value to God and believe that you’re worth the wait. You might have a girlfriend or boyfriend who tells you differently. They might pressure you to have sex with them. However, stand firm in your belief that you have value to God.
    The right person will see that value too and believe that you’re worth the wait. When you meet the right person, they will push you to be closer to God. They will see your value and want to wait to have sex. If the person you’re dating is pressuring you, run away. Realize that you’re worth the wait.
    But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.  – Romans 5:8
  2. The sex is better.
    You might have seen the movies or read books about how awesome a one night stand is. Don’t fall for this lie. There is nothing fulfilling about casual sex. Sex is designed to be something that brings you together with someone. If you want to have great fulfilling sex, then don’t look for it in one night stands or other relationships. The best sex is found in marriage. God designed us for intimacy and relationship and His plan was for that in marriage.
    If you want to have great sex, wait until you’re married. Its in marriage that you can really experience the joy God intended when He created sex.
  3. Its easier on your heart.
    Many people do survive a past relationship failure that involved sex and they still were okay. But if you were to ask them, they would tell you they have regrets from that relationship. That’s because sex is like glue. It bonds you to another person. When the relationship ends, you are still bonded to that person. And just like if you glued two pieces of paper together, and then later tried to separate them, there would be lots of ripping and tearing involved. In the same way, if you bond yourself to someone with sex and you’re not married when that relationship ends, there will be tearing of your heart. Your heart is too important to let this happen. Choose to not let yourself get hurt time and time again by saving yourself for marriage.

Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.
 – 1 Cor 6:18 (NIV)


What’s the Deal With Sexual Purity?

Teen Lesson on Sex PurityMost likely, your school’s hallways are filled with talk of who is having sex with whom. Possibly there are rumors circling around your job about the latest hookup and break up. With all the talk from your friends, at school and on TV it can really make you question, in this day and age, is sexual purity really possible? Is it even realistic to think that a person could wait until marriage to have sex?

These questions are good ones to ask yourself. Most teenagers if they were honest with themselves are curious about sex. Many people think, ‘what’s wrong with a little sexual exploration and fun?’ The problem is, many people have taken what God says about sex and twisted it. They’ve pushed sexual exploration and removed all sexual boundaries.

Think of it this way. Let’s say that you were finally able to drive a car. Let’s also say that your dad handed you the keys to the car and told you to have fun. Now if you hadn’t had any driver’s education or any prior knowledge about cars, you could really get yourself in trouble. Let’s say that your dad just left you with the car to ‘explore’ and ‘to have fun’ with it. You might end up driving too fast and get in a wreck if you didn’t follow the traffic rules. Without knowing the rules, you could really get yourself into trouble quickly.

That’s a lot like sex. God made it to be a fun thing, but if you just explore it without any boundaries it can lead to trouble quickly. Without the boundaries in marriage that God has set up for sex, you could find yourself pregnant, with an STI or a broken heart. That’s why God urges us to keep ourselves sexually pure. Its not that He wants us to remove all fun from our lives. No, the opposite is true. He knows that if we follow the rules like we do when we drive, it keeps us from wrecking.

Sexual purity is possible. It may not be the easy or popular choice, but it is possible. It might take you saying ‘no’ to what feels good in the moment because you have a vision of something greater. You know that if you follow the rules God set up for sex that one day you’ll experience an awesome sexual relationship.

If you haven’t already made a decision to be sexually pure, we encourage you to do it. It won’t be the popular decision. It won’t be the easiest decision, but it will be a decision that will leave you with no regrets. It will make your life easier in the long run. And if you’ve not made the decision to be sexually pure, and you’ve already plunged into sexual relationships, take a minute and make a decision to be sexually pure from this point forward. Determine to not let peer pressure, the media and other things determine your sexual choices. Let God be the one who sets the standard for sex. Follow after God’s plan for sex and you’ll be glad you did!

Every Teenager’s Little Black Book on Sex & Dating
This book is awesome especially if you don’t like reading very much! It is a very quick read and has tons of great information on sex and dating.

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