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7 Strategies to Help You Stay Sexually Pure

Strategies to Remain Sexually Pure for Teenagers

Sexual temptation is something we all face at some point in our lives. Winning the battle against sexual temptation isn’t for the faint of heart. It’s hard to stay strong in a world where sexual purity is laughed at. However, with some good strategies in place, you can win the fight against sexual temptation.

Strategy One – Watch What You Watch

One of the best strategies to stay sexually pure begins with being careful what you watch online and on TV. You can begin to feed sexual desires by spending too much time watching the wrong things online and on TV. Be mindful of what you’re watching and what you spend time thinking about.

And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. – Phil 4:8 (NLT)

The battle in the physical is often won first in your mind. Choose to think Godly thoughts and watch Godly things online and on TV. It will make your fight against sexual temptation much easier.

Strategy Two – Find a mentor

Find someone you respect who has already made the journey before you. Perhaps it’s a youth worker, older friend, or sibling. Find someone who has won the battle of sexual temptation and learn everything you can from them. See what strategies worked for them in their own battle against sexual temptation and see if you can apply any to your life.

Walk with the wise and become wise; associate with fools and get in trouble. – Proverbs 13:20

Strategy Three – Walk Away

If you’re dating someone, and things start getting heated, don’t be afraid to walk away. Stand up, walk to the other side of the room, leave the area, avoid dark places, cars or whatever seems to work for you.

Run from anything that stimulates youthful lusts. Instead, pursue righteous living, faithfulness, love, and peace. Enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts. – 2 Timothy 2:22

Don’t be afraid to put on the brakes and walk away. You’re in control of your body. If you want to stay sexually pure, you’ll have to make the decision to walk away from situations where you’ll be tempted.

Strategy Four – Stay Accountable

Having a good friend or two to stay accountable with is important. You need someone to help challenge you to stay strong when you’re feeling weak. Battles aren’t fought alone. You need to find someone to help hold you accountable.

Strategy Five – Date others committed to avoiding sexual temptation

Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness? – 2 Cor 6:14

You can’t expect to stay sexually pure and date someone who doesn’t have that same value. It doesn’t work like that. You’ve got to find someone who shares that same value and date them. It will make it so much easier in the long run. Date someone who is as committed to staying sexually pure as you are.

Strategy Six – Have a reminder

Before we were married, my husband and I had a funny phrase we would say to each other to challenge ourselves to stay sexually pure. We’d tell each other, ‘keep it clean until June 13.’ Our wedding date was June 13. It sounds a little funny, but it worked as a great reminder for us. Whenever we were feeling weak in that area, we would say this funny catch phrase and it help remind us of our commitment to remain sexually pure.

Do something fun to remind yourself of your commitment. Whether it’s a ring, a catch phrase or something else, have a reminder that you can use to remind yourself to stay pure.

Strategy Seven – Keep it casual

Don’t take your relationship too seriously. Don’t assume that it will end in marriage. Don’t act like you’re already married. You will most likely have several relationships before you get married. Don’t put too much pressure on your relationship. Don’t assume that you will marry this person. Most likely you won’t. Take the pressure off, keep it casual and simply enjoy life.

Get to know the person, but don’t jump straight to love and marriage. Keep yourself pure by putting on the brakes a bit and keeping your relationship casual.

Here are a few tips when it comes to guarding your heart in relationships.

What are some other strategies you’ve used to avoid sexual temptation? Leave your thoughts in the comments below.

If you’re a youth leader and you enjoyed this devotion, we’ve made some discussion questions based on this lesson. Check them out below!


Why Should You Choose Sexual Purity?

Sexual Purity For TeenagersSex is a huge thing. If you’re honest, you probably think about it a lot. Maybe you think its going to be magical like they show on movies. Or maybe you’ve already had sex and are wondering what should you do now. Does the act of having sex before marriage now make you unable to be used by God?

Lots of people have different philosophies about sex and sexual purity. There are purity pledges you can take, purity rings you can buy, and tons of ideas floating out there about sexual purity. So how do you decide to be sexually pure? Here are a few things to remember.

  1. The choice is yours. Only you can decide to be sexually pure. You can choose to accept God’s plan for sex within marriage, or you can choose to ignore it. That’s your choice, no one can force you to do it. Its important to not make the decision to remain sexually pure because you’re feeling pressure at your youth group or church. Make the choice for you. If you make a choice because of peer pressure at youth group, you’ll end up feeling resentful towards it. If you make the choice out of fear that someone at church will judge you, you’ll end up regretting it.
    Choose to be pure because you love God and want to follow His plan for your life.
    Not because you feel forced into it or because of fear of others. Be pure because you’ve decided between you and God its what you want for your life.
  2. Get to know what God says. If you’re having a hard time deciding to be sexually pure, just spend some time in the Bible. Read scriptures that deal with your body and how God sees it. Get to know your heavenly father and His heart on sex. That way when you decide to be sexually pure you’ve made an informed decision based on what God’s word says. Here are a few verses to check out.
    1 Corinthians 6:18
    1 Thessalonians 4:3-5
    Ephesians 5:3
  3. Believe you’re worth it.You’ve got to see yourself the way God sees you. You’ve got to believe that you’re worth the wait. Even if it means that a girl or guy you’re dating will break up with you because you’re not giving in sexually, decide that you are worth the wait.
    Even though its hard to wait when you’re young, if you choose to believe that you’re worth the wait it will really help. If you’re going to stay strong in the midst of sexual temptation, you’ve got to really believe that you are worth it. You’ve got to believe that no matter what someone will say or do to you that you are worth the wait sexually. Don’t give in just to get along or go with the flow!

The only way that the choice to be sexually pure works is if you choose for yourself for the right reasons. You’ve got to choose to be pure because its what you believe and what you want for your life. You can’t do it because it makes your mom happy or because all your friends in youth group are doing it. You’ve got to decide to do it because you’ve seen the benefit of it in God’s word and you choose it for yourself.

Finally, if you’ve messed up sexually, its not the end of the road for you. You’re not disqualified from ever doing things for God and getting into heaven or anything like that. But you can choose to move on from your sexual mess up. You can move forward and live a sexually pure life from this point on. Here’s a great devo about what to do if you’ve messed up in this area.

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Sex180: The Next Revolution This is a great book with lots of ways to rethink our culture’s view of sexuality and challenges you to think about sex how God would!

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Tips For Guys – Winning the Fight Against Lust

Teen Devotion - Lust

This is a devotion geared toward the sexual issues guys face daily. Every day guys are bombarded with images of females online, in magazines, and on TV. They are then faced with a decision of how they will respond to these images.

The first thing guys should know is that it’s ok to have a desire for sex. This just proves that you’re a typical male. God made you with a desire for sex. That’s normal. You shouldn’t feel bad for having those desires. It’s what you do with those desires that makes the difference. These desires if not handled in positive ways can lead to hurt for yourself and others later in life.

Without setting healthy boundaries for yourself sexually, you can get into destructive habits that are hard to break.  So, decide today to make smart decisions in this area. Sexual temptation in this area can be strong. However, there are several proven tips that can help you in this area.

  1. Stay Busy –  One of the best ways to fight this battle is to keep yourself busy. Get involved in extracurricular activities at school. Go out for soccer, or get involved in the drama club. Volunteer at a local food bank. Do something that gets you out of the house and involved with others. Staying busy helps you flee temptation in this area.
  2. Bounce Your Eyes –  This tactic is taken straight from a book I’d highly recommend called: Every Young Man’s Battle by Stephen Arterburn. He says the best way to win this battle is to make a decision to guard your eyes against looking at a women with lust. Even though you are surrounded each day with sexual images, you’re able to win the battle by guarding what you watch. A proven way to decrease your sexual desires is by decreasing what images you allow yourself to see. When your eyes see something sexually, it gives your sexual desires fuel. So, when you starve this area by bouncing your eyes, it makes this temptation much easier to tackle.
  3. You’ll always have sexual temptation –  This isn’t always encouraging news, but as long as you’re breathing you’re going to face sexual temptation. However, God designed marriage as a healthy outlet for these desires. Yet, for most of you, this may be years away. Even if it is going to be a while before you get married, you should put into place good habits now. Even after you get married and are able to have sex without guilt, you will still face temptation in these areas. That is why it is important to put into practice good habits now.

Practicing these tactics will help you win in the battle against lust. It can be a challenge sometimes to stay pure in these areas. However, it is always worth it in the end. When you learn to train yourself with good habits now, when you get married, you won’t carry any regret or hurt into your relationship. It’s tough sometimes, but it’s a battle worth fighting!