Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ – Philippians 3:8 (NLT)

There’s no doubt about it. Singleness is difficult. It’s really hard when it feels like you’re single and alone. In many of the movies we watch and shows on TV, we see people in relationships and often feel like we’re worthless when we aren’t a part of a relationship.

The trouble is relationships aren’t meant to be our fulfillment. God is.

Let that sink in. God is supposed to be our fulfillment. No relationship can ever fulfill you the way God desires to. In fact, pursuing relationships can often be empty when you haven’t let God be your all in all.

God created you for relationships. But in those seasons when you aren’t in a relationship, you can still learn to be content. It doesn’t mean that you don’t desire a significant other. It just means that you realize that a significant other won’t totally fulfill you.

If you haven’t already, determine to put aside everything else to follow after Jesus. Determine that whether you ever find a marriage relationship, you’ll love Jesus with all your heart. Decide that nothing comes before knowing Him.

As you do, you’ll realize that you can be content in those seasons of waiting. Why? You know that God loves you completely. And there’s nothing better than knowing Him.

Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. – Matthew 6:33 (NLT)

If you have a desire to be married one day, that’s a good thing. In Genesis, we see that God created marriage and the family, so that desire is a good one. The trouble comes when we want to be married and in a relationship so much that we are unhappy being single, or we settle for a relationship that is less than God’s best for our lives.

In order to not settle for a relationship that is unhealthy, you’ve got to put a bit of thought into it. What do I mean? Well, you’ve got to spend a little time thinking about where you’re going in life.

For example, do you want a family? If so, the person you date should want that too. Do you want to make going to church a priority? If you say yes, then be sure to find a person to date that feels the same way as you do. These are just a few practical things to examine, but there are many more too.

To find a good person to date, you’ve got to know where you’re going in life. As you discover what you want in life, it will help you filter out people that are potentially unhealthy for you to date.

Finally, don’t be afraid to ask God for help. He knows more than anyone whether the person you’re thinking about dating would be a good fit for your life. So go to Him. Ask His wisdom and advice. If He tells you no, then listen to Him and obey. It’s always better to be single than to nurse a broken heart.

Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness? – 2 Corinthians 6:14 (NLT)

Yesterday we talked about desiring a relationship and how that desire is a good thing. God placed in us the desire for a relationship. However, we do have to use some caution about who we get into a relationship with.

Relationships can alter the path and trajectory of your life. If you’re dating someone who doesn’t love God, it can make it harder for you to put importance on your relationship with God.

I remember a time when I was at Bible college. There was a guy I was interested in dating who was there studying youth ministry, which was a passion of mine at the time. All things pointed to this being a great relationship. However, as I got to know him more, I realized that he didn’t really have a heart after God.

His relationship with Jesus wasn’t the biggest priority in life. Yes, he was a Christian, but he wasn’t following after God the way I wanted to. I realized that even though he was a Christian and headed down a path that was similar to one that I wanted to go down, he wasn’t a person I should seriously date. Even though it was hard, I had to stop the relationship.

Today’s Truth: Date people who love Jesus as you do.

The truth is, it’s better to be single than in a relationship with someone who isn’t following God the way you are. If their heart isn’t after the things of God, it’s going to make a marriage and family difficult because you’re going to be pulling in two different directions.

So as you go after relationships, make sure that the people you date are ones who love Jesus like you. Also, find out if they are headed in the same direction as you are. That will make things so much easier. Determine to not settle for just ok in your dating relationships. Realize how important you are to God and decide to wait for the best that He has for you.

Pray: Jesus, I ask for your help when it comes to dating. Help me find good relationships that are focused on you and that challenge me to love you more. In your name, I pray, Amen.

Questions

1. When looking for someone to date, do you look for people who have a real relationship with Jesus?
2. How can you help yourself remember to stay content when waiting for a godly relationship?

We talked a little yesterday about singleness. It’s easy if you’re single to feel like you’re all alone. You can let your mind wander and begin to feel unhappy all because you’re single. The truth is, the desire for a relationship is normal. God has wired you to want a relationship.

Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” – Genesis 2:18 (NLT)

God saw that Adam was alone in the garden and created Eve to be his helper. So God created marriage and He created humans to have relationships. So, if you have a desire to be in a relationship and to be married someday, then that’s a good desire.

The trouble comes when you try to rush things or become unhappy in waiting. If you’re single, you have to learn to be content and happy in your relationship with God. Instead of spending each night crying into your pillow, wishing for a relationship, choose to get to know your heavenly father.

Talk to Him. Ask Him for help. Spending your energy seeking Him, and as you do, one day the right kind of relationship will come into your life. And because you spent time getting to know God, He can show you what that right kind of relationship will look like.

Today’s Truth: The desire to have a relationship is a good thing.

Spending time getting to know God is never wasted. God created you and knows you better than anyone else. So as you get to know Him, He will show you things about yourself. He will help you and then when the time is right, you’ll be ready to enjoy a relationship that is god-directed and focused on the right things.

Pray: God, I ask for your help. Help me to be content in my season of being single. I want to spend this time getting to know you better. I ask you to help fulfill me. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Questions

1. Do you desire a family and marriage someday?
2. Have you ever spent time talking to God about your relationship goals?
3. What are some ways you could spend some time getting to know God better?

When you’re single it can feel like being married is all you think about. You might desire to be married more than anything else. So much, in fact, that you’re willing to compromise anything and everything to simply be in a relationship with someone else.

One of the most important things to realize is that singleness isn’t a curse word. If you’re single it doesn’t mean that your life can’t go on, or that you’re not worth anything. It might simply mean that in the place you’re at right now, and in the season you’re at right now that person that God has for you isn’t there yet with you.

Maybe you’ll meet that person at college. Perhaps you’ll find them once you’re working in your future career. Regardless, your paths haven’t crossed yet. That doesn’t mean they won’t.

Today’s Truth: Singleness is Not a Curse Word

It can be easy to feel less or unimportant because you’re not in that relationship yet. However, being in a relationship is work. Yes, it might look like fun on the outside. Relationships take energy and work. While you’re single, you can really work to find contentment and joy in the Lord.

But a married man has to think about his earthly responsibilities and how to please his wife. His interests are divided. In the same way, a woman who is no longer married or has never been married can be devoted to the Lord and holy in body and in spirit. But a married woman has to think about her earthly responsibilities and how to please her husband. – 1 Corinthians 7:33-34 (NLT)

In today’s verse, we see that being married divides your interests. Not that marriage is wrong in any way. It’s not, and if you desire it, then keep believing that God will help you find that special person. However, marriage does take work.

Singleness is good. It leaves you more time to focus on the Lord. So don’t despise the time spent single. It’s a great time to focus your energy and attention on Jesus. Let Him become your fulfillment and joy. Then at the right time, in the right place, you’ll find that person that God has for you.

Pray: God, I come to you today. If I’m in a relationship, I’m going to choose to be happy. If I’m single, I’m going to choose to be happy. Help me to see the good things in the season of life I’m in right now. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Questions

1. What are some good things about being single?
2. How can you get to know God better regardless if you’re single or in a relationship?

But I have calmed and quieted myself, I am like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child I am content. – Psalm 131:2 (NIV)

How often in our busy world do we have some time for quiet? If we’re bored, we reach for the remote or our phone to end our boredom. However, instead of always reaching for electronics to entertain ourselves, what would things look like if we got quiet?

What if we spend more of our time and energy getting quiet and learning to hear our creator’s voice?

If we’re honest, most of us are so busy with jobs, friends, and electronics that we don’t have any room in our lives for quiet. There’s power in taking some time to calm yourself and be content in God’s presence. It’s there that you’ll find the peace and fulfillment that you crave.

We were created for a relationship with God. So today choose to prioritize quiet. Determine to take some time to spend getting to know Jesus and hearing Him speak to you.

This is my command–be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.” – Joshua 1:9 (NLT)

It’s so easy to become afraid. Whether it’s fear of the future, fear of failing your history test, or fear that your crush will reject you, everyone deals with fear. And while fear is something that we all face, if we let it, fear will stop us from doing the things God wants us to do.

The bad thing about fear is that if you give in to it, you’ll find yourself unhappy and living with lots of regrets. So instead of letting fear cripple your life, choose to be strong and courageous.

Today’s Truth: A life of fear is a life of regret. Choose to be strong and courageous!

You can stand against fear when you know that God is with you. You know that you’ll come out on the other side of every difficulty winning because God will not leave you. Today, regardless of what you’re facing, know that God has a plan for you. Don’t allow fear to stop you from doing what God has called you to do.

“For God loved the world in this way: He gave His One and Only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life.  – John 3:16 (HCSB)

This Bible verse is a really familiar one. Most students had to memorize it in Sunday school. In fact, its so familiar that we can become so used to what it says that we don’t get excited about it anymore. However, this verse is powerful.

This verse shows us that God loved us in a big way. God saw us in the position we were in, separated from Him and He just couldn’t stand it. He did an extravagant thing. He gave His best for you and me to be able to know Him.

Its easy at times to look at ourselves and others and see all the flaws. All the stuff that is wrong and reasons why we or someone else is unlovable. However, God doesn’t see us that way. When He sees people He sees how much He loves us and what we can become in Him. So the next time you feel down about yourself or someone else remember how much God loves them and you!

“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” – Ephesians 4:32

One of the hardest things to do in life is to be kind to other people. How many times has someone cut in front of you in line, talked about you behind your back, or just plain annoyed you for no reason at all? When you’re in these situations, how do you usually respond?

The easy response is to get even, lash out or do something mean right back to the person who did you wrong. However, as a Christian we are called to love others. This verse challenges us to be kind and forgive others regardless of how they treat you.

You can’t change how someone treats you, but you can choose to respond to them with kindness. The end of this verse is also great. It tells us that we can do this because God in Christ forgave us. When you remember what Jesus did for you and how much he loves you, it empowers you to love others. You begin to value other people when you see how much Jesus loves you.

Today’s Truth: You can’t change how someone treats you, but you can choose to respond to them with kindness 

For ever since the world was created, people have seen the earth and sky. Through everything God made, they can clearly see his invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature. So they have no excuse for not knowing God – Romans 1:20 (NLT)

When we’re talking about apologetics and standing up and sharing your faith, it can be easy to feel like you need to have the most information or the most proof that God is real. That’s not the truth. It’s good to be armed with proof and information. However, as we learned yesterday, it’s God’s word that will change people’s hearts.

So as you stand up, show evidence, and use God’s word, realize this last truth. In everyone’s heart, they know that God is real. Maybe they’ve gotten too busy and as a result, ignored God. Perhaps they’ve hardened their heart to Him due to circumstances or trouble. However, deep down, in their heart of hearts, they know that God is real.

Today’s verse says that God reveals Himself through creation and that people don’t have an excuse for not knowing God. That helps me when it comes to sharing my faith with others. I begin to see that I don’t have to know all the evidence for God. I don’t have to win every argument. Why? Because deep down, people know that God is real.

Today’s Truth: Deep down people know God is real.

So as you share your faith with others, know that the people you’re talking to know deep down that the message you’re sharing with them is the truth. They know the God of the Bible is real because we all desire a fulfilling relationship with Him.

Today as you go out and share your faith with others, believe that God will use you mightily. Know that God’s word is powerful to change people’s hearts, and don’t forget to listen to the Holy Spirit when you don’t know what to say. He will give you the words to say and help you share your faith boldly with others!

Pray: God I thank you for how real you are. I pray for the people around me that don’t know you. Help me find opportunities to share with them how real you are and how much you love them. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Discussion Questions

1. Who do you feel God is leading you to tell about Jesus today?
2. How are you going to tell them about Jesus? If you don’t know, pray and ask God for ideas.