Breaking up will happen to you. Plain and simple. Sometimes breaking up with a boyfriend or girlfriend really hurts. Other times, a break up might feel like such a sweet relief.
Part of being in a relationship with the opposite sex is learning how to deal with a break-up. Because let’s face it, unless you end up marrying the person you’re dating, you’re going to break up with them. So with that in mind, here are some tips for dealing with a break-up.
1. Determine your basis for your self-esteem – This is an important thing to think about. If your worth comes from who your friends are, who you’re dating, or any other person, your break-up is going to hurt more. There is not a single person who can love you enough to fill your heart or heal your hurts. At some point people will let you down. So, where should our worth come from?
Worth should be based on what God says about us, not what we feel, not what others do or say to us. Reading Psalm 139 is a great place to start when determining a foundation for your self-esteem.
2. What you put in determines the level of hurt on the way out – if you invest everything into a relationship, your money, your body, your time, your emotions, you’d better believe it will hurt when the relationship ends. Girls especially, until your wedding day, you need to be guarding your heart, your body and your emotions. Don’t give those things away freely like so many do. Until you have said your vows, there is a large chance that this relationship will break off and you not be with the person you’re dating. My advice to you is this…don’t give it all away. It is not worth it. What you put into a relationship will determine how much it hurts when it ends.
3. Realize your relationship is temporary – Around 99% of high school relationships don’t end in marriage. What does this mean? It means that you’re going to get dumped. So don’t take your relationship too seriously. Don’t tell that person you love them. Don’t have sex with them. Don’t ignore all other relationships because of them. See the relationship for what it is…it is temporary. Relationships are good to get to know people of the opposite sex and find out what types of people you would like in a future marriage partner. However, its more than likely going to end, so don’t invest too much into a relationship.
4. Ask God to heal you – Maybe you’ve been really hurt by someone in this break-up process. No matter what, relationships do hurt when they end, that’s just a fact of life. Ask God to heal you where you’re hurting. Ask for his wisdom and help with healing your heart after a relationship that has ended. He is able to help heal you when no one else can.