Have you ever thought about the fact that there are things in your life that could be killing your relationships? You might sit back and look at your life and think, why don’t I have more friends? Why aren’t my relationships better? What you might not realize is that you may be subject to one of these four culprits that kill relationships.
- Selfishness. This is a dangerous relationship killer. You know you’re trapped in selfishness when you are always worried about yourself. When you have a conversation, are you so concerned with being heard that you forget to listen?
Are you so focused on self-promotion that you have little time to look out for others? Are you always putting your needs first at the expense of others? This is a dangerous relationship trap to fall into. The Bible tells us how we should be treating others in 1 Corinthians 13.
“Love cares more for others than for self.” – 1 Corinthians 13:4 (Message)
- Laziness. Its easy to get lazy in relationships. You might feel like watching TV instead of texting a friend that is in need. You might rather sit in bed and read a book than going to your best friend’s football game. However, laziness can be a relationship killer. If you keep putting comfort ahead of your friends, eventually they will start to resent that. Being a good friend involves doing what’s right for your friend, even if it puts some of your comfort on hold. Choose to not be lazy and put relationships first in your life.
- Shyness. Shyness is a huge relationship killer. If you’re a person that tends to be naturally shy, you’ve got to challenge yourself to push past any shyness you might feel to get noticed and make friends. You have to step out of your comfort zone and begin to talk to people. You’ve got to not allow your shyness to hold you back, but rather choose to step out of what’s comfortable and easy and learn to talk to others.
It might not be easy at first, but the more you try talking to people the easier it will get.
- Emotional Baggage. This can be a big relationship killer. Its easy to let the hurts of your past influence your future relationships. If you’ve been hurt by someone it can be really hard to start trusting people again. You tend to be weary of getting to close to others if you’ve been hurt. However, holding people at a distance and not trusting them is a way to kill relationships. Even though you may have been hurt, you can go to God for healing. He’s able to heal your heart and help show you ways to begin trusting others again.
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. – Psalm 147:3 (HSCB)
Relationships take work. They involve setting aside at times what seems easy and putting another’s needs or interests ahead of your own. However, its worth it to do what the Bible outlines in regards to relationships. Its what should set us as Christians apart from other people. We as Christians should be the ones that are treating others with the love and respect that God has shown us. This week remember that how you treat others speaks just as loud as the things you say. Choose to shut off the things in your life that are relationship killers and let the love of God flow through you!
By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” – John 13:35 (NIV)
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